May 6th, 2011


Neo Victorian - Fin

I've been in the goth community for a long long time. Maybe I haven't been around as long as some of the others like EternalDarkness or Joe Virus, but I've seen quite a bit. I've watched various factions within the Goth subculture rise and fall. I remember what I consider to be the height of the Goth movement being the mid to late 90s when the clubs were often packed, even the small underground lesser known venues would pull in quite a few people.

I remember a lot. The drama, the fun, the posers (I was one of them or so I was told over and over again), the hardcore scenesters, and everything in between. I remember only though what happened around me, so maybe my experience is a bit limited. Regardless I've called the goth community home for well over a decade now. It's hard to wrap my head around that it's quickly approaching TWO decades since I first hung out with kids that would be considered goth. It's been fifteen years since I set foot in a self proclaimed "goth" or "fetish" club.

Regardless of what anyone thinks of me I consider myself an old Goth kid. I was at one point a Goth Dj. I no longer consider myself a Goth dj as I really enjoy the old music and even the new EDM , IDM, and synthpop but I play a lot more events that feature the electronica that falls so far out of anything that remotely has its roots in the old movement that I just don't feel right qualifying myself as that anymore.

Honestly, often I don't really consider myself a DJ at all anymore as much as I consider myself a booking agent and organizer.

Anyway, back to the original reason for my having started this post. Many of you who read this blog (and even if no one does I write this to myself to keep record) have seen my career transform from hole in the wall dive bar promoter, to Dj, to traveling Dj, to convention Dj and organizer, to Entertainment coordinator for some of the best damned events in my region from Tokyo in Tulsa to A-Kon. I am truly blessed and happy in my music career.

I've leveraged my talents, money, and time to further the artists I love. I do not regret it. It has been wonderful. However...

I have invested much (as have some of my friends) into the event known as Neo Victorian which was started and perpetuated to give the Fayetteville local Goths a place to hang out on occasion. I ran an event to the same end known as Ravenwood Festival for two years with many promises of assistance and very VERY little delivery save for a few precious people who saved my ass over and over again while I fought the good fight and lost and suffered for it along with my closest friends.

So many times in so many ways I hear from so many scene driven types of many stripes "It's all about the music. It can't be about the money." How incredibly sad, disheartening, and utterly painfully I have learned that if you're going to organize events that is so incredibly utterly NOT F'ING TRUE.

If you're a Dj and JUST a Dj who is not financially invested in an event in any major way then Ok. Sure. Bands? Yeah, they can get away with that as well. The promoter? If the promoter does their job then no one but him or her gets their ass handed to them at the end of the night if things go wrong.

I wish I could say I had a perfect record there, but As Captain Mal said, "things never go smooth. How come they never go smooth?"

Anyway, I may run one last Neo Vic this year. It mostly depends on how GlitchCon goes. I know I shouldn't say this, but you can expect if Glitch train wrecks (it certainly looks to be HEAVILY on track to do VERY well) that I'll retire. I've always been candid here about where I'm at and what I think. I just can't see being all PC online just because I'm suddenly the owner of a convention.

If it goes well I'll probably throw a year end NV. Beyond that? Don't hold your breath because if I do it ever again it'll be once a year. I'm just too busy. I really hope someone with more free time will pick up and open a night. I wouldn't hold my breath for that either though.

Anyway. I hope those who know me very well understand. Everyone else? Read my blog over the last four years. If you don't get it after that then really there's no way anyone can explain it to you.

It's been real.